It was mid morning Saturday.
I told myself I was cruising as I drove through the highway. The truth was that
I was tired to my bones. It was a good thing the road was not full, at least party
makers were not all out to crowd the road. I had played tapes and CDs on my way
to town that morning so I decided to listen to whatever my favorite station
was airing at that moment. It was a talk program, I would have preferred music
but since I was too tired to even change stations I listened.
The topic was rape.
Frankly speaking at that moment I did not feel like listening to any gender
sensitive issue but for some reason I stayed tuned.
The speaker spoke deeply
in pidgin even brought a rape victim whose identity was hidden to talk on her horrific
experience.
Let me explain; I am not a
feminist by any shot. The single sex secondary school I attended was probably
the only sexist body I can associate myself to. When a colleague suggested that
I join FIDA, I shook my head strongly. In trying to convince me to join, she
explained that it was an umbrella for female lawyers and I had replied that was
the same reason that would make me stay away.
Back to the matter, when
this radio victim started her narration, I broke. I don’t think I would want to
repeat her narration. I twitch whenever I think of it.
Another angle that
interests me was the response of some listeners. One particular listener advised
against provocative dressing as a preventive measure. I wondered if there we’re
still people with this thought- line. I mean anyone who had a daughter, wife,
sister, or niece ought to be more realistic when giving advices on this issue.
As far as I know, provocative dressing has little to do with sexual violence. I
am not saying that it has nothing to do with rape and other related sexual
violence but trust me, when I say it has got little to do with it. Or how would
one explain the reason for the females that are abused as children? In fact one
of the victims who spoke that day said she first abused when she was three by
an UNCLE. Only recently Dylan Farrow
claimed she was molested as a child by her adoptive father. It is sad that the
protector can become the predator.
I was glad when the
presenter noted that the provocative dressing angle was blaming the victim and that
it would in no way encourage victim to report offences. It makes sense because
no one would want to report a rape incident if all you would hear is, “How were
you dressed?” “Did you sway in front of them?” and so on.
There is no use for us at
any point to justify rape. Aside from shielding offenders from the law and
possibly future healing (because I think rapists are sick), we create a society
that could hurt every one of us, a society in which no one is safe. Do I need
to emphasize that everyone has a female who is dear to him or her? And that no
one knows for sure who the next victim could be? As feminine as the tears
arising from sexual violence may seem, it is time we understand that the
society is broken from these hurts.
...keep faith.
