We were young- teenagers. You came in at
the later part of that year. I had come in the year before; two sessions
earlier. We did not start of as close friends, we talked alright but we were
far from being called friends. I admired you because you were bright and brilliant.
I wanted you to be my friend but I could not force it on you neither could I
voice it out because you were not close to anyone. The girls said you were
stingy, I did not see that in you. They said you did not like the fact that
anyone could do better than you; that was after you cried for being second best
in a test. I did not like that anyways. I had cried in a similar situation some
years back. I knew I would never do that now. It did not have anything to do
with growing up; I simply did not trust my brains anymore. You were great in
mathematics; I was a loser there but I thought you could teach me.
“Jessica teach you? You must be
dreaming”, was what I got from some mates.
I was dreaming but yearned for that
reality. I felt a little more understanding will get me through. I saw you
making very conscious efforts to please our mates but I did not think you got
so far because you were true to yourself. I felt there was a little reservation
in there. I had begun to put myself in your position and tried to see things
from your angle. I found myself saying, “give her a chance.”
We would meet by chance and sit and talk
about things, important and unimportant alike. I began to go to your class
downstairs just to chat with you. You could use my notes and you let me use yours
too. I remember an inscription you wrote on one of my notes.
It read “BEAUTY+BRAINS-JESUS CHRIST=HELL FIRE” and “BEAUTY+BRAINS+JESUS CHRIST= HEAVEN”
True saying and even though I would
never have tolerated any writing on top of my books, I kept that one as a
souvenir.
I remember the first time I gave to you.
It was a key holder. It was at the time where I loved having more than one key
holder but since you did not have I offered to give you one. At first you were
surprised by that, and then overjoyed later. I guess in your joy you saw a true
friend. For me it was one of the times I had had lots of “thank you” being said
to me.
You were not the only one who got things
from me. No, ours was not a one sided relationship. You gave me anything you
could give, from provisions to chips, which we would share in our prep time.
With time you graduated to being my tutor.
“My tutor!” now it sounds funny.
I remember that day clearly. I had told
you how lousy I was in mathematics and how I was scared of a resit in our forth-coming examinations. From that moment you made my success your responsibility.
You taught me how to solve constantly. A dozen times I would tell you I was
tired and a dozen times you would remind me of how little we had done. We would
sneak out of the dormitory into the classroom or school hall and will not leave
until I had gotten the necessary formulas into my teenage head. Our classmates were surprised that you
had become my teacher. On my part, I realized that the equations were not so
difficult.
On the eve of our examination you had
said to me, “after all we have done, we will make it in Jesus name”.
We wrote and travelled home afterwards.
When the results were released, I was successful, so were you. However I never got to thank you as because you
never came back. Your cousin told me that you had changed schools.
I regard our relationship as one whose
seed was sown but did not get enough time to germinate. My gratitude remains
though. You help to restore my confidence in myself. As the years go by, I have
done better in mathematics. I never got around to love the subject but I
realized that if I worked hard, I will succeed in it.
Passing years has not stopped me from
wondering how you are doing. The internet age has even led me to Google your
name a few times. It’s obvious I have not been successful with it. I wonder if
I will see you again. And if I get to see you, will your memory have a place
for the events that marked me? I do not expect anything but I am glad you marked
me in this wonderful way.
Still keeping faith
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